Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Dear Devyn

We never dreamed you'd be so beautiful...
in all of the times we tried to imagine every last detail of who you would be,
thru all of the nights we spent quietly thinking of how we would feel when we first looked at you,
we patiently waited and silently wondered, we hoped and we prayed and we tried to imagine...
but we never dreamed you'd be so beautiful.

Happy Birthday!

♥ Mommy

Monday, October 17, 2011

Keepers of the Legacy

Did I mention I come from a huge family? Or families? Cause it's not just one side but every side there can possibly be. My grandmother on my dads side is a Tapusoa and about a year ago it was announced that we were going to have a Tapusoa family reunion and Utah families would host. Within no time, meetings were called, committees were formed, funds were being raised and plans were underway for the descendants of Talitau and Fetoai Tapusoa (my great-grandparents). I didn't really put much thought into it at first but it was a huge undertaking, especially given that we had less than a year to pull it off. But, it was a whopping success! 

I lost my grandmother exactly one month before her side-of-the-family reunion. She decided to attend another reunion. One with my grandfather who awaited her arrival in heaven. After I returned to Utah from her services, I struggled to pick up the pieces of my responsibilities as part of the activities committee. Almost a year of planning and the thing that kept me engaged was the image of my grandmother's sweet smile and the happiness she would feel being around her siblings and their families. I was devastated! All I could think was..."Oh, Mama, you couldn't wait for just a couple more weeks?" 

The reunion was fast approaching. After almost a week of ignoring calls and emails about plans for the reunion, I had a quick change of heart. One day, as if my grandmother were standing right in front of me, I realized-- more passionately than ever--that I am an extension of her and a keeper of her legacy. I understood completely the theme we had chosen for our reunion, "Keepers of the Legacy." That day, I promised myself that I would represent my grandmother the best I could and see it through. Wholeheartedly.

I now realize what my grandmother was trying to teach me that day. She lived a long life--90 years--and left a great legacy for me to follow. Her family reunion wasn't for her. It was for her posterity. For my posterity, my precious child. It was for me. To help me remember...my family...happiness...and life in the in between. And to also remember my grandmother's legacy. Though no one mentioned it, we celebrated her life and relived her memories with every prayer that was said, every sip of koko Samoa and every spoonful of food. And, believe me, there was food. Tons of it.

The sounds of Samoan music danced through the crisp Mt. Timpanogos air and we all laughed, yelled, and as we spoke over each other, there was love. Lots and lots of love. It is four days I never want to forget because life is short and in a blink everything can change. In that moment, seeing all my family together having dinner--steam from koko Samoa, the divine curry chicken resting happily on the white rice, and our breakout flash mob to LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem--I was happy. So incredibly happy. It was if life stood still. And I? I felt invincible. I stepped back and took a picture in my heart. It is embedded there forever. It's in these moments I feel alive.

Every morning, I blink my eyes open. I lay for a few seconds, then squeeze them real tight. And thank God. For everything. My pillow, my blanket, the sun, the pile of folded clothes that needs to be put away, the new vanilla air freshener in my car, my precious little family, my family's health, the box of Cheerios in the pantry... This list goes on. I simply start the day by expressing appreciation. When I think back to this picture of my family reunion, I can't help but feel thankful. For my bed, for my life, for an amazing family and everything my grandmother instilled in me. And this makes me squeeze my eyes shut every morning and appreciate life's most extravagant blessings.

To my dear family, thank you for reminding me that life is best felt when you're alive, in each moment.

And to think we had a lot more missing from this picture.
The biggest and coolest family tree ever!
We all stayed at BYU's Timp Lodge. Absolutely beautiful. Got to appreciate God's creation and am thankful.
Everyone old and young got into their team spirit! 
Yup that's my girl doing her siva Samoa and Aunty Suvi doing thriller
Australia & Vegas entertaining the family
801 Holding it down during Talent night!
Every one of my dads siblings was here :)
801 putting on a show
Minute to Win-it
Orange Team


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

You Satisfy My Heart

Over six years ago, I was the luckiest girl in the world because that was the day I was able to call you mine. All mine. And when I think back to that day, I realize I married an incredible man.

I knew he was the one when he would send a card with beautiful handwritten love notes. I knew he was the one when he would let me talk for hours over the phone. I knew he was the one the moment he made me laugh, like a crinkled-nose-and-squinted-eyes kind of laugh. I knew he was the one when I learned he does laundry. I knew he was the one when I began to dress up and smile more. I knew he was the one when one fateful night, I finally realized he satisfies my heart and made room for only him.

I knew when I met Uela, that was it. It being my ability to function without him. My heart is at peace knowing I'm walking through life with a partner who knows and accepts everything. Wholeheartedly. Not too long ago we celebrated six years of love. We promised to accept and love each other. Forever. And right then I knew life was nothing short of perfection.

Six years later, still,...you completely satisfy my heart and soul. Thank you for loving me in ways I can't possibly understand.

I seriously need updated pictures. Hopefully this holiday season!